Spoiler Alert: Great people talk about ideas but the truly mediocre talk about people...so goes the saying. With that pristine warning, let's revel in mediocrity for sometime. Do you know a well - dressed onion, an unaware has been, a wannabe enchantress or a selfish spiderman?...Read on to identify these daily irritating specks in our eyes and the resultant agonising pain they cause.
A peg down and some more thereafter and finally with the 'one' for the road, we, the mediocre people often can see the world in its true design and grandeur.
At plain sight, we ignore many people who irritate us. We try our best to be civil when sober. But when the spirits enter our tired bodies, our ability to tolerate morons is inversely proportional to the amount of alcohol we have consumed!
The following variants of people can and will be seen across worlds. Let me know in the comments section people which ones you could identify with:
1. The Well Dressed Onion --- True to the description, they are well and truly layered. Always dressed prim and proper, these cute little buggers would be carrying a smile on their face and ever ready to impress the world. They will be a little fat but their hearts are as cold as they can get.
Always following the alpha male or females in the office, the well dressed onion's only claim to fame is that they are close to some really important people. Onions don't make a dish although they make good accessories. Yes, in chicken do piaza the bird is the star not the onion.
Mr or Miss Well Dressed Onion is particular about the time they spend with everyone. They believe they have seen the world and hence they deserve better. They can be identified by the false flattery they daily indulge in. They also drop big names just to impress you about their antecedents. Don't fall for their tricks.
Onions stink and let them know when they do!!!
2. The Unaware Has Been: By the looks and feel of it, this variant can be mildly amusing or terribly irritating depending on your mood. To their credit, these people actually did something worthwhile in not so distant life. That's why we can wish wash them so easy. There is an inherent sense of reverence for them till they bore you every day.
Once or twice you would be regaled by their scalps. But not everyday! Move on and get a life can't be said to them. Because that's the only part of their lives that they want to remember. These people are like fixed deposits which earn interest.
Nobody messes with them because they are old and sometimes influential. That's why we pretend that they can do no wrong even though they do. Everybody is waiting for them to leave the room, except them. Who would want to miss all this fun, eh?
Tell them that living in the past isn't gonna help them in the future. We are nearly in 2015!!!
3. The Selfish Spiderman: Spidey can't never be mean or so you thought. Welcome to the real world. Spinning their web of lies, they have gone long and far. They don't like being called selfish. They like to think world started with them at the Centre. At work, work is second priority. At home, he/she is first priority. With friends, they push their wishes down others' throats with a smile on the face and feigning overall welfare. Once in a while during moments of conflicts they are forced to gnaw or show them your teeth but those moments are rare. These spideys always think people around them are conniving against them.
Truth be told these slimy people want to stay ahead of others by hook or crook. Like spiderman, they are tuned to the police radio to be abreast of the latest developments. But ask them about their lives and "everything is okay" ---pat comes the answer. They are one of the few people who have planned their entire day when the sun just broke. You are a mere pawn in their scheme of things, a means to an end. These people are talented in a good sort of way but choose to put themselves first in any thing. That's why they are unpopular everywhere even when they "think" they are trying to help others.
Catch them red - handed and shame them just when another brilliant self servient plan was hatched!!!
4. The Wannabe Enchantress: If looks could make up for flaws the next set of irritants have, they would not be on this list. Luckily we have ears, eyes, nose and mouth. The wannabe enchantress is always bothered about how they look. They want to be your wet dream yet they would overlook you when you are looking straight at them. They just love public adulation!
They will be approaching 30s or would have just crossed that milestone. Slim. Good looking. Sexy. Sly. All these words combine to make the wannabe enchantress. The only downside is that they lack something. Does that make them irritating? Most of the times they do not because they don't have the "ooomph" but because they think looks can carry them ahead. They are so wrong.
Proud yet brittle individuals, these sirens will walk with a swagger and always look down when approaching somebody. Spend hours in the loo trying to achieve that perfect maskara blend and hide the dark circles beneath their eyes. Always hooked on to ear phones and listening to mp3.
The wannabe enchantress can be identified by her side kick. Yes, her alter ego. The sidekick would be naturally dishevelled and represent a tomboy. The enchantress doesn't have real girl friends and so the alter ego is her calling card.
Tell them, if you can muster up enough courage and accompanying life-long hate, that sirens look good only in item songs!!!
5. The Perennial Competitor: Picture this. You are telling about this crazy story to a group of friends at a party. You are lucky to have escaped without a scratch and just as you are about to end the story ... pop comes a bobbing up and down head with "there was this one time" script. These 'Perennial Competitor' types can be seen almost everywhere. You are having a leisurely swim at a resort and pop they arrive turning in to a drag race of who can finish the lap first. You are showing your new phone and before you know the very week they will buy a bigger and more expensive phone and vie for all that attention!
Suffering from a heavy bout of inferiority and superiority complexes, they will try to outdo you. They simply don't agree with anybody getting their 15 seconds of fame. Mine. Mine. Mine. They will drive your crazy, especially at social gatherings, workplace and even private interactions. Everything you say or do is being measured by their ever - so - vigilant antenna. The moment you deliver a winner, they are driven by this madness to outsmart you and say/do something even grander.
What drives you nuts is how can the same person have so many great stories and they wait to deliver them only after somebody says first. It's like as if they derive some sadomasochistic pleasure by competing with you, me and practically everybody. Like a competitor looking for a fight, like a hungry dog waiting for that morsel eyeing the morsel after dinner is served ... They will make sure that the spotlight shifts from you to them before we can say chihuahua.
Ignore them and teach those liars a lesson they will never forget!!!
